I Use to Compare Myself to Others

Last week, I posted a blog about being motivate by challenges and talked about….finding motivation during the rough patches of life and coming up with your own idea of what success is.   This week, I’m going to touch on compairing ourselves to others.  We all have a vision of what success looks like to us.  The term compare means to estimate, measure or note the dissimilarity between.

I like to read the business journals and magazines successful people my age.  I enjoy following the successful careers of entrepreneurs and entertainers around my age like Mark ZuckerburgBeyoncéNicki Minaj and Others.  I know it may sound silly or unrealistic to some people, but I use to measure my level of success in compairison to theres.  No I’m not the techie type, and I’m not a music artist, but thats what the physical manifestation of success looked like in my eyes!I didn’t consider thier daily grind or what they had to do or sacrifice in order to get their.  I just looked at the physical picture.  

At the time, all I could think about was, “They are my age and they got there, why cant I?”  I started to feel unworthy.   Yes, these peoples success may have had something to do with their life choices, opportunities presented to them, or upbringing in compairsion to mine, but if they found their success why couldn’t I?

I kind of felt like I had something to prove to others.  So, I became more focused and determined.  To my surprise, that approach didn’t help much.  I was passionate about my things, but I still wasn’t living the life that I dreamed. With my full schedule, I hardly had time to think for myself or be creative. I was on auto 👩‍✈️ pilot just to get through the day.  Because it was so important to me to be successful, I began to ponder 🤔 what is the
TRUE meaning of SUCCESS meant to me and how to go after MY Success. I started thinking about the ups and downs I had gone through in life and what lead me to where I was standing right then.  Success meant freedom.  At the end of the day, I just wanted to be happy….and maybe a little rich!

During my trials I learned that Success is not about accomplishments, but satisfaction within yourself.  When I learned to accept myself and where I was in life, I started to gain satisfaction.  I also started to accomplish a lot more minus the struggle. Once I was satisfied with myself, I was able to reflect positivity towards others.  Beginning a path to success is about not trying too hard or pleasing others.   We must take time out each and every day to be thankful for where we are and to think about what we really want out of life.

A part of success is setting the tone on how you want to live your life, knowing the direction you are heading, gaining knowledge and then putting everything in order how it makes since for you!

Here are some tips Ive found useful:

  1.  Awareness.  “Most often we do these social compairsons without realizing we’re doing it.
  2. Stop yourself:  Be aware of your thoughts.  If you start to compare your situation to another persons stop yourself.
  3. Count your blessings:  Be greatful and thankful for where your are.  There are blessings to count in every situation.  You just have to take time and think about the blessings.
  4. Focus on your strengths:  You have strengths that you can contribute to this world.  Your time will come.  Be patient.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and continue to work on YOU!
  5. Be OK with where you are and your journey!
  6. Learn to love enough.  You are enough!

Until Next time my Lovelies!

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Tanisha billops Author of,A Prostitute’s Guide to Success.


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